Political Satire: Donald Trump makes white supremacy notorious

White nationalism or white supremacy is the belief that white people are superior to those of all other races, especially the black race, and should therefore dominate society. It's hard to believe this kind of concept could persist in the 21st century. Don't get me wrong, it has been prevalent over the years since the Civil Rights Act of 1968 also known as the Fair Housing Act. There were others before it but Lyndon Johnson thought he was putting on the final touches with his late sixties bill. Although there was some noticeable breakthrough, racism in its purest form still exists.

What we never thought possible in this country is the fact that, even though there have been racists presidents before him, no other administration has ever prided itself in stocking its staff, even its cabinet, with white nationalists. Donald Trump not only welcomes their company, he encourages their participation in the sport by regularly practicing his own. It's like who can one up the other. As Salon's headline expressed...

Donald Trump’s white nationalist “genius bar”: Steve Bannon, Stephen Miller, Michael “Decius” Anton and beyond

 Further: "Donald Trump’s administration is built around a brain trust of white nationalists." Folks, these crackpots are all proud of a trait that normal, civilized people consider abhorrent. In addition to the above, Donald John's new Atty. General, Jeff Sessions, has been a racist most of his adult life. And according to the Washington Post, half of Trump supporters are racists, proving my earlier point that racism has been prevalent over the years, in spite of targeted legislation. We are a truly pathetic nation that allows these lowlifes not only to exist, but also to proliferate.

Said it once and here it is again, "How about concentration camps for racists?" my headline from an earlier post. May sound far-fetched but wouldn't it be fun to visit their compound and flip them the bird through the chain-link fence...with barb-wire around the top, of course.

The real story...

Political Satire: Mitch McConnell a fan of derangement

A one word definition of derangement is "insanity," something that most certainly applies to new President, Donald Trump, and his entire administration. Muttonhead McConnell said of Donald John, "...what I am a fan of is what he's been actually doing." Let's see what that is...

Starting at the inauguration, with clear evidence to the contrary, Trump exclaimed he had largest inauguration crowd ever. The President lied.

Then, he sent spokesman, Sean Spicer, in front of the public to reiterate his lie of inauguration crowd size. The President's spokesman lied.

Put the country's business on the back burner while he raised hell with Nordstrom for dropping his daughter, Ivankas's, clothes line.

Continuing a war against the media that not only he can't win, but one that displays his buffoonery to the world, making America the laughingstock. 

Talks and writes like a three-year-old, something that has rubbed off on his staff and is available, when he tweets, which he does incessantly, to the entire world.

Lets Kellyanne Conway talk, and talk, and talk to the public saying nothing of substance and lying more than Donald John, if that is possible.

I was born in Kentucky, but am frankly ashamed of that fact since mealy mouthed McConnell represents the state. I was in Paducah recently with my wife and the mention of his name brought only looks of scorn. So who the hell voted for him? The same people who voted for Trump, those with the standards of an imbecile.  

The real story...

Political Satire: Running from the Oval Office Trump screams FIRE...FIRE

It was 2AM in the White House when Donald Trump emerged from the Oval Office, smartphone held high, screaming that there was a fire, when he ran into Kellyanne Conway stalking Steve Bannon. She thought he was NBC's Chuck Todd. KC said, "What the hell are you talking about? Where?"

"Right here on my phone you idiot, and you are one of the main reasons."

"If you keep hurting my feelings, I'll go on TV and tell everyone your gardener does your hair."

He thought about that for a minute and decided to change the subject. "KC, they're getting way too close to the truth about my connections to Russia, and you know how much I hate the truth. By the way, have you ever told the truth?"

She thought so long that Donald John went on. "When I told my campaign to get in touch with Russian officials about Hillary and the Democratic National Committee, they told me no one would ever know. The question now is how to hang them out to dry and get me off the hook. If you can ace that, I'll put you in charge of Steve Bannon."

"Goody, goody," was the reply, and she immediately tweeted, 'White House learns that it was Jared Kushner who set up contacts with Russia to do the hacking and is the close friend of Vladimir Putin.' She looked at her phone satisfied that she was still able to lie like the pro she was. 'Two birds with one stone." Then, "That'll teach him to try and keep me out of the White House.

The real story...

Political Satire: White House renamed Looney Bin

The transition from a perfectly normal White House, with a normal President and his normal family, to this...

We have a President who wasn't elected by the popular vote, who is a tweet mongering lunatic and pathological liar. If that weren't enough, he brings along a family, not just to join him occasionally in the White House, but to help him run the government. Without the slightest idea of what they are doing. Of course, neither does Donald Trump as President.

 E.J. Dionne sums it up best in his Washington Post headline: "Admit it: Trump is unfit to serve"

I could stop right now, having made my case for ridding this country of a demagogue who will surely, if given the time, bring the United States down to its knees. But unfortunately there is more...

Donald John sends his son in law, Jared Kushner, Ivanka's husband, to the middle-east for peace negotiations because 1)he s a real estate salesman, 2) he's Ivanka's husband, 3) he's a Jew. As a comparison, a recent negotiator was former Senator and presidential candidate, John Kerry.

Donald John goes wacko when Nordstrom drops his daughter, Ivanks's, clothes line spending a couple days tweeting nonsensical tirades against the company--prompting two other retailers to do the same--mostly ignoring the job he was elected to do,. 

Donald John names Steve Bannon his chief strategist. For what, to promote an administration of white nationalists that is already lopsided with racists like Jeff Sessions, the new Attorney General, and Donald Trump himself, with his first Executive Order to ban immigrants from the country. 

And, of course, the continued cultivation of his twin pathological liar and all around ringmaster of the White House lunatics, Kellyanne Conway. If there is anyone in the lineup of Trump flunkeys that should be kept out of the public eye and cutting the White House lawn, it is KC. 

In closing, Dionne's concerns over Trump's loyalties bother me most and should matter to the wingnuts that elected him. I'm thinking, as we can hold someone accountable legally for libel, there should be a way to make Trump supporters accountable for what this maniac is doing to our country.

The real story...

Political Satire: Mitch McConnell still the asshole even after Obama

Mitch Mitchell-The epitome of hypocrisy

Many Republican Senators, featuring Mitch McConnell at the head of the list, have made it their goal, actually a crusade, to put the good of America on the back burner with the sole purpose to stand in the way and defeat anything the Democrats propose. The movement became a monster under McConnell as the minority leader in the Senate in 2009. His quote was: “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” A single-minded promise to screw the country in order to stop a great President from doing great things. They did.

But Barack Obama was elected to a second term, so now how do we get rid of Mitch McConnell? Legally, of course. With this in mind, I would like to suggest that McConnell immediately retire from the Senate and enter a monastery to atone for his sins against the former President. If he won't go willingly, maybe Harry Reid could be talked into shanghaiing him from the Congress subway system, then delivering him to the abbey. After all, Reid is a former boxer. I know this would never happen but can't you see it now?

First of all, you would have to explain to McConnell what atone means.

Second, none of the Monks would have anything to do with him. Naturally.

Third, McConnell would refuse to enter the monastery if there were any black monks; force needed

Fourth, he would fight to block any...well, just about anything that comes up within the walls.

Fifth, all the lies he tells in the monastery must stay in the monastery. Denied.

Pipe dreams? Yes, but this is what Progressives do with this kind of President and Congress.

The real story...

Political Satire: Trump's 'propaganda minister' in trouble

Kellyanne Conway transitions to pathological liar

Mika Brzezinski of MSNBC's "Morning Joe" show says she won't interview Kellyanne Conway because “It’s giving people dishonesty, it’s not worth the interview.” Another quote from a show anchor...

"Conway hasn’t been invited on the anchor's show for months, saying the viewer gets 'nothing out of her' because 'she constantly obfuscates and misrepresents the truth.'”

 In cognitive behavioral therapy, a pathological liar is...

"...a stand-alone disorder as well as a symptom of other disorders such as psychopathy and antisocial, narcissistic, and histrionic personality disorders, but people who are pathological liars may not possess characteristics of the other disorders. Excessive lying is a common symptom of several mental disorders."

I can see the headline now, 'Mike Pence assumes presidential duties. His first act is an Executive Order to commit Donald John and KC to the White House funny farm to receive therapy for their compulsive lying. Sorta like a modern day political Mutiny on the Bounty. Trump is of course Captain Bligh, and  Conway could play the deck hand who organizes the crew into mutiny; very appropriate casting if I do say so.

The real story...

Political Satire: Trump Executive Order making Steve Bannon Presdent

Trump's latest Executive Order

Donald Trump was secretly constructing a new Executive Order when Kellyanne Conway walked into the Oval Office. She immediately asked what he was working on since Donald John looked so insidious. He told her he was afraid he might have to resign since everyone was dropping Ivanks's clothes line and there was no way he would let this country's business interfere with his business. Besides, he planned to come out with a new line of golf balls and his business advisers were telling him 'Dump the presidency." I'm recommending Steve Bannon for the job.

"Whaddaya mean, Bannon, Mike Pence is Vice President."

"That's what this Executive Order is for but don't tell Mikey or Stevo yet."

"This is bullshit, why can't I be President?" KC retorted.

"You're a woman, to begin with, and besides, no one likes you. You have to have charisma like me."

It was right then that Melania walked in. "Here's the plan to trim the White House in gold. Mitch McConnell loves it and says he'll get the budget of $100 million approved."

Donald John looked at everyone, "Maybe I'll hang around another two years; probably won't make it past the midterms anyway."

The real story...

Political Satire: 3 Musketeers replace KKK

Yiannopoulos, Spencer and Bannon

Not that we were ever free of the Ku Klux Klan, but now we have a new version of white supremacy going by the initials YSB which stands for Milo Yiannopoulos, Richard Spencer and Steve Bannon. You know who Bannon is but the other two are less well known but just as articulate. And I guess I just don't get it because I have never understood why a white Caucasian thinks the color of their skin makes them a better human being than another person of color, particularly blacks. I read the book, "Race and Reason" over 50 years ago, convinced these people were fruitcakes then.

According to the Additive Color Theory, white is a color and black is the absence of color, scientifically speaking. That could play several ways to mean what you want, but any way you cut it, it's laughable. Look at it this way...for some reason the sun gets hung up on earth and there is no darkness for six months. All us superior whites get sun tans that make us look almost black. All the blacks out in the sun non-stop are bleached out to mulatto. Yiannopoulos, Spencer and Bannon look at each other and are horrified that no one can tell the difference anymore. Peace.

The real story...

Political Satire: Bedbugs responsible for Kellyanne Conway wackiness

Kellyanne's personal bed bug

Kellyanne Conway was lying on the exam table in the emergency room of Bethesda Naval hospital wearing only one of those gowns that open down the back, or front, or whatever. The bright florescent light glaring overhead made her squint, shading her eyes momentarily with her hand. Two doctors were discussing the situation over in the corner but she couldn't really hear what they were saying. One looked at her periodically and she didn't like the scowl on his face. Finally, the other doc said out loud, "It can't be," and KC came raring up.

"It can't be what?" and the two doctors hurriedly left the room calling for constraints.

Now she didn't know what to do. There was something wrong, no doubt, when Donald John had recommended that she needed medical help. Her family and staff agreed. Even Steve Bannon thought her behavior was beyond unusual; on a scale of one to ten, right now she was an eleven. It all stemmed from an itching in her brain that prompted her to say ridiculous things, even more ridiculous than she normally did. Like recently she made the statement that Donald Trump had decided to enter the priesthood and wanted KC to join him as a nun. This was on CNN, labeled alternative news.

It was right after that crawly, itchy feeling in her head. She likened it to liberals walking in her brain and said it wasn't a sure thing but thought it was Bernie Sanders. And then on another occasion, she walked into the briefing room, right up to the podium, and gave the press her daily briefing. Except, the press wasn't there, only a janitor cleaning who clapped loudly. It didn't go unnoticed since the security cameras were on and the secret service was on the floor laughing. Then she was jerked back to reality when the two docs walked back into her room snickering at each other.

"Ms. Conway, I don't exactly know how to tell you this but you have a cute little nest of bedbugs burrowing close to your brain. Right at the base of your skull located between your eyes," one of them said.

At that moment, KC's eyes crossed and she started screaming. "How the hell did they get in there?"

"Probably through your mouth. Is it open a lot?"

The real story...

Political Satire: Iran tells Donald Trump to "shove" his threat

Not sure who to be most afraid of

It was near bedlam in the White House with Kellyanne Conway, Steve Bannon, Michael Flynn and of course Donald John all gathered around the huge Oval Office globe, trying vainly to find Iran on the large round surface. Then Michael Flynn spun the globe and cried wheee! KC put her hand on the surface and stopped the spinning. "Isn't it somewhere in Europe?" she asked.

"Hell no," replied Stevo, "It's a part of Libya."

"You're both way out of line," chimed in flipped-out Flynn, "It's an island right off Greece," as he pointed to a dirty speck on the globe's surface.

And then the commander of chaos spoke up, "You dummies, you can't find Iran because they changed their name to Persia. It was back in 1979 when they ran the Shah of Iran out of the country and Jimmy Carter put him and his wife up in the Lincoln bedroom. They changed the name to Persia; its people were actually Aryans, which translates today into white nationalists."

"Hey," said Stevo, "that fits right into my foreign policy."

Then Reince Preibus walked in. "Some guy from Iran's Hotel Assn. is on the phone, something about a luxury hotel in Tehran."

Donald John looked around the room, "He means Persia." Then, "Tell him I'll be right with him." And then to the others, "Okay, meeting is over."

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Political Satire: How about a robot government-Couldn't be worse

That's me, only much smarter

Amazon is opening a super market in Seattle that is controlled by robots, with only six human on the premises; they plan to reduce humans to three. Don't know about yours but one of the stores we shop in has around a hundred employees and they're talking about three? So I figure...why not apply that concept to the federal government? The adaptation would be relatively simple since Congress is as brainless as are the robots. Except a robot can be equipped with artificial intelligence, something that wouldn't even bring Senators and House Representatives up to the level of moron.

And then there's the White House. That would need a special robot, based on the current occupant. Although, it is very doubtful that you could find even a robot that would mimic this lunatic, and as far as I know, robots don't lie. Maybe the Neiman Marcus catalog could be talked into coming up with a presidential robot since they deal in the extravagant. The big question, of course, is how many humans would it take to manage all the robots? The answer is zero. Even robots running amok in Washington couldn't do any worse that the blockheads that are running it now.

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Political Satire: White House forced to take English 101

The dufus and his minions

Say what you want, but Donald Trump is supposed to have at least a modicum of intelligence; unfortunately that has never translated into common sense. But even the acumen of the glorious new leader of the greatest country in the world needs help. How do you spell honor? Not honer. The use of the word unprecedented, becomes unpresidented in Donald John's tweets, quite possibly the fact that he still can't believe he was elected, as many thousands more feel. How's this tweet, “I am honered to serve you, the great American People, as your 45th President of the United States!”

The modern world already thinks the Trump administration is a conglomeration of racists, white nationalists, loose cannons, crackpots and full-fledged idiots. Its commander is the epitome of lunacy. The UK''s Independent said...

"The grammar used by Donald Trump in his speeches as he campaigned to become the Republican presidential candidate corresponds to that used by students aged 11 and under."

Here's how the Washington Post put it...

The English language was unprepared for the attak. It was destined to loose. And, inevitably, it chocked.

Apparently Donald John missed, or if he was there, failed, all the spelling bees in high school.

Political Satire: Anti-Trump followers flock to Mars

A NASA astronaut was asked if we should take the opportunity to colonize Mars. He said, "Nope." Ron Garan said this recently so it isn't like it was before Donald Trump was elected. Or maybe he is a supporter of Donald John. Probably not when you consider his letter to the new U.S. emperor. But I would like to propose a compromise to the idea. Establish a temporary haven for the anti-Trump folks, something like a Disneyland on Mars; they're everywhere else. Maybe even let Trump build it with, of course, staunch oversight.

Once Richard Branson has the kinks worked out of Virgin Galactic, he can start taking reservations and with the millions of takers, Branson should be able to reduce his fare of $250,000 a trip down to the typical cost of an airline ticket cross-country. It's only provisional accommodations, of course, and once Donald John is impeached or implodes and resigns, a happy group of anti-Trump devotees can return to earth and begin the process of getting rid of Mike Pence and the entire Republican Party. The last part will be the hardest but certainly the most fulfilling.

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Political Satire: Kellyanne Conway...President?

The whip was concealed in her purse but everyone she passed in the hallway could see the fire in her eyes with the complete determination that was written on her face. Kellyanne Conway was on a mission and she would let nothing stand in her way. Just outside the Oval Office, she told the staff, including Vice President Pence who was waiting, 'no one enters until I am done.' She went in without knocking and locked the door behind her. Walking over to the great ruler's desk, she took the whip from her purse, threw it in front of Donald Trump and said, "See this, hope I don't have to use it."

"What the hell do you mean walking in here like..."

"Don't give me that shit, Donald John, I got you elected and I can get you un-elected, unless you change your ways."

DJ was at a loss for words for a few minutes until regaining his composure. "I could fire you for something like this."

"You could but you won't. What I know about you would fill three extra editions of the Washington Post. Now listen to me. I'm tired of you putting out all this bullshit and then I have to explain it. Makes me look like a dumb shit."

"Hold on a minute, need to tweet something on Jeff Sessions confirmation."

"No freakin' way until I approve it; all of those go through me from now on."

"No way," said a cranky but cowering DJ, and then he pushed back from his desk and started to get up.

As he did, KC yanked the whip up from his desk, cracking it just in front of DJ's nose. "Sit, she commanded," and he did. "From now on I'm running things around here. You sit in the chair but I give the orders. This country wanted a female president, well now they've got one." She rolled the whip up, put it back in her purse, and walked out of the Oval Office.

After KC had closed the door, DJ pulled out his smartphone and dialed a number. "Hey 'Fat Tony,' remember that favor you owe me?"

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Political Satire: Will Bernie Sanders sue Donald Trump

A lawsuit might just work against loudmouth

If anyone knows a fraud it is Bernie Sanders, Democratic candidate for the 2016 Primary along with Hillary Clinton. The Bern says Donald John is a fraud because he wants to "...undo financial regulations enacted following the 2008 financial crisis as a betrayal of his campaign promises to stand up against Wall Street." If there is anyone who stands up to Wall Street, it is Bernie Sanders. He said Donald Trump is a good showman but a hypocrite by deserting the middle-class voters after campaigning heavily on this issue.

Sanders sued the DNC so why not the President of the United States. The Bern would sue Donald John, on behalf of the workers of America, for breach of contract, citing his promises to them in his presidential campaign to stand his ground against the financial giants. The courts recognize some promises as legally sound for litigation, and considering the number of pledges Trump has already broken along with the numbers of lies uttered to prove his points, there is a natural precedent for the broken promise charge filing. I can see it now...

They probably wouldn't jail a sitting President but can't you see Donald John confined to the White House wearing an ankle bracelet monitoring his every move. At least Melania would know where he is then.

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Political Satire: Even foreign restauranteurs repelled by Donald Trump

Cafe ZeeZicht with Trump antagonists

Cafe ZeeZicht in Antwerp, Belgium, will start a boycott this Friday against all American products. “The language Mr. Trump speaks is the language of economics, so in that language we want to reply,” says the bar's owner, David Joris . "So, that’s why we are not selling American products at the moment.” Thanks to Donald John, we might have a trend starting in Europe that could have a huge impact on America's foreign trade. Joris has replaced Lay's chips with Belgian-made Croky chips, Coke has been substituted by a Belgian-made cola. What will be next?

The UK's Telegraph reports that Donald Trump's trade policies are driving Latin America into China's arms; will it drive countries like Belgium into Russia's? Maybe this is the deal going on between Putin and Trump, to build up the Russian economy. A few more like this and Vlad will let Donald John build his luxury hotel in Moscow. But the best part is Joris's idea of boycotting. How about Trump hotels in Las Vegas, Washington, D.C., Chicago, and into Canada, Toronto and Vancouver. Go to Hotels.com for substitutes. That's my Trump shot for the day.

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Political Satire: Trump a "Second Coming" for Iran

The two Supreme Leaders???

There can't be any foreign nation that the U.S. has had more complex dealings with than Iran. Okay, maybe, North Korea but in that case we are dealing with a lunatic comparable to what is in the White House today. Iran, however, has really hit the mark in its appraisal of Donald Trump's ascendancy to the presidency of the U.S. with these comments from Iran's Ayatollah Ali Khamenei...

"We are grateful to this gentleman who has come."

Remind you of something that is dear to a number of people? Pitifully, the Supreme Leader thanked trump for revealing the true face of America. According to Donald John that would be a look of racism, white nationalism, abused women, all along with an environment of hate. Don't get me wrong, the U.S. isn't looked on by the world as a perfect and benevolent nation, but we were never seen with the bleakness reflected by a Donald Trump profile. What is worse, Trump's followers, many of whom are Christians, woefully no doubt believe he is the second coming.

The question is when will this all implode and this country can return to normalcy?

Political Satire: Steve Bannon becomes President by Executive Order

Steve Bannonn

Donald Trump was sitting in the Oval Office looking at reruns of "The Apprentice" reality show when his chief strategist, Steve Bannon, walked in with papers in his hand. "I have something here that needs your signature oh great one."

"Don't bother me now, Stevo, can't you see I am tied up with something of grave importance to the future of this great country?"

"I realize the gravity of your most presidential effort, our sultan, but this too is something that will benefit our country, beyond what you might ever imagine."

"Okay, Stevo, if you insist, but just wait for this scene, here it comes, 'Your're fired,'" God, can't get enough of it. Put the paper down here (which he signs still looking at his image on TV). There, it's signed." Steve Bannon leaves the Oval Office with a huge grin on his face.

The Washington Post puts out an extra edition the next morning:

Donald Trump signs Executive Order making Steve Bannon President of the United States. No one has seen Donald John since, but three men dressed in white robes with hoods were seen leaving the White House late last evening in a pickup truck with Louisiana plates and something wrapped in a Confederate flag. No comment from the Oval Office.

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Political Satire: Trump Executive Order for Nordstrom to do what?

Donald Trump was working late in the Oval Office on a secret Executive Order that had him fired up and obviously something he was indignant about. All the doors were locked and he wouldn't even acknowledge the Secret Service agent checking on him. Go away, he boomed, and returned to work on the order. It was 2 AM and he had just tweeted that Bernie Sanders just announced that he had switched his allegiance to the Republican Party backing its new CEO. He liked that title rather than party head. He had labeled his tweet Alternative News just in case.

By 3 Am he had finished his work and decided to turn in. On his way to the master bedroom, he passed Melania coming out of the Lincoln bedroom on her way to the kitchen for some warm milk. Donald John continued on, stopping momentarily at his secretary's office to drop off his rough draft of the Executive Order. The next morning, he finally showed up close to noon. His secretary came into the Oval Office and placed the EO on his desk and, turning, returned to her office shaking her head. "Now, that'll teach those losers," he said.

That morning's Washington Post (yes, already leaked) had a spread on the front page:

"Donald Trump issues Executive Order to Nordstrom's Dept. Store to reinstate his daughter, Ivanka Trump's line of clothes. Failure to comply immediately will result in a 20% Trump tax on everything else sold in the store. Nordstrom did not reply for a request for comments."

Political Satire: Kellyanne Conway spoofs Donald Trump

Kellyanne Conway with...admirer

It is a known fact that Donald Trump doesn't listen to things until he sees them on the media. And it is also known from a recent PunditFact study that the Fox Network news is true only 17% of the time and is false or mostly false 59% of the time. That is the conservative news network and probably the one Donald John watches most. This seems logical since most of his utterances are not accurate, some not even close. Kellyanne Conway knew this so she decided to see just how far the Oval Office potentate would go. She leaked a news story that Steve Bannon was the White House leak.

The next morning the story broke on Fox, without a confirmation, of course. The White House mouth waited quietly in her office for her leader to call to tell her he would raise hell with Bannon. Nothing. Lunch passed and still no word from the great room. Conway was in a terrible fluster, asking her assistant every few minutes if she had a call. Then she was told there was one from the administration white nationalist. She answered.

"Thanks for the leak," said Stevo, "know it was you, had your imprint all over it. The Don was elated. Some of the leaks raised his popularity rating 10 points. He has put me in charge of the entire White House staff...including you."

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Political Satire: Donald Trump fights wall of kangaroos

You know, you would think that even a mentally challenged President would know which side his toast is burned on. There are world leaders who have always hated the United States and make sure we know this by their actions, Australia isn't one of the latter, but may soon become one after Donald John kicked their Prime Minister in the balls several times by phone. Donald Trump doesn't want 1,250 refugees from their detention centers, agreed on by former President Obama. If Obama made this agreement, there must have been a good humanitarian reason.

Later that day Australia's PM Malcolm Turnbull, called Mexico's President Enrique Peña Nieto, who had also fought with the new monarch over a wall between the U.S. and Mexico. They agreed that Turnbull would supply Peña Nieto with several hundred kangaroos, enough that there would be one about every one-hundred feet. They would fight off all Mexican workers going into the U.S., cutting off America's labor force in the fields, restaurants, gardening, housecleaning and more. Turnbull welcomed these workers to Australia's thriving economy.

It was only two months later. All fast food businesses had shut down in the U.S. There were no landscape centers. The fields were overgrown with unpicked crops. Trash was piling up everywhere. The U.S. economy was spiraling down. From the White House Donald John sat back in his Oval Office chair and tweeted, 'Tie me kangaroo down sport, tie me kangaroo down.' Mike Pence clapped dutifully.

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Political Satire: Infirm President-Loose cannon adviser contemplate war

The two of them were sitting in the White House Situation Room located in the basement of the West Wing. President Donald Trump and national security adviser ­Michael Flynn, sitting across the table from each other, just staring.

Donald John: What the hell are we doing here, Mike?

Flynn: Your greatness, I've heard so much about this place, I just had to see it.

Donald John: Jesus Christ, you pulled me out of my Oval Office just for that. I was busy talking to the White House designer about a new gold inlaid rug to replace that thing with a design on it.

Flynn: But that's your official seal of President of the United States.

Donald John: Mike, don't need that. I know I'm the most powerful person in the world now. What the hell's wrong with you, everyone knows that.

Flynn: Okay, then why don't we talk about starting a war while we're here. You already put sanctions on Iran for doing those nuclear tests. Let me take a few good men, sneak into the country, and bomb a Tehran night club. Then I can go right over to the Tehran News, take credit for it in the name of the United State and, bingo, we've got a war.

Donald John: Sounds good to me but, Mike, how do you plan to get out of Iran then?

Flynn: Your illustriousness, you will then wage the global war I have always dreamed of and rescue me.

Donald John: You know...it just might work.

Political Satire: Kellyanne Conway-Definitely from another planet

Kellyanne Conway and...?

The Oval Office mouth is at it again, spouting off more disinformation that has become a staple of the Donald Trump administration. Kellyanne Conway, one of Donald John's top advisers claimed that there had been a terrorist attack in Kentucky which she described as the Bowling Green massacre. Here's the way I see it coming down.
Kellyanne: Your highness, you sorely need a good reason for the immigration ban you have issued in your executive order. The peasants, especially those poor pathetic souls who voted for you, need a thorough explanation for their double-digit IQs,

Donald John: Okay, Kel, what kind of absurdity can you come up with?

Kellyanne: Since Mitch McConnell was such a jerk in supporting you, let's say something happened in Kentucky to make him look bad.

Donald John: Right on, Kel, we'll put the old fart in his place and dig up some terrorists no one thought was there. If anyone can come up with alternative facts it's you. Go, go!

Next Day

Kellyanne: Oh hallowed one, I have an idea. Rand Paul said something about Iraqi refugees in Bowling Green who were bad boys, I'll just fabricate that into a terrorist massacre and announce it on the Chris Matthews Show.

Donald John: Perfect, Kel. Now run with it.

Well after midnight the same day in the Oval Office

Donald John: Well, Kel, you did it again. That, what the hell do you call it, Alternative News, works every time.

Kellyanne: Yes it does, your eminence, but when are you going to complete that luxury hotel deal with Vlad so I can quit worrying about these cover ups?

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Political Satire: Mitch McConnell loves Obamcare

Elaine Chou had just been approved as Donald Trump's Transportation Secretary and her husband, Mitch McConnell was elated; along with a GOP Congress and a new figurehead in the White House he was sure he could control. Yes, Donald John was elected to the office but McConnell knew he was the real savior of the Republican Party now. He had never had this kind of power, and was just glad that he had found his source of long term stamina in the last few years to keep him going. It was the only way he had had the drive to fight against Barack Obama's second term. Damn those blacks.

McConnell grabbed his bottle of Mexican vitamins and took two; the dosage was six a day. God forbid anything happen to the doctor in Mexico City who supplied him. Heading back to the Senate chamber, his cell phone rang and it was doctor Gonzales who was excited, exclaiming that he wouldn't be able to supply the Senator any longer with his precious supplement.

"What do you mean? I pay you a fortune for the capsules. Do you need more money? I can always call the Koch brothers for a loan."

"No, no, something called Obamacare. Federales just raided my shop and took everything. I am ruined and all because of you."

"What did I do," he was desperate now.

"The Mexican President is a good friend of Barack Obama and when he found out what I was doing, he had me raided."

McConnell knew he would waste away and be unable to fulfill his duties of Majority Leader without his beloved Mexican vitamins. Even his wife didn't know. "Just sit tight. I'll take of this."

As he strode onto the Senate floor, he approached the podium and called for order. "Ladies and gentlemen of the Senate." Only a handful were there, all Democrats. "After a long discussion with my staff, I have decided that this body will vote to continue Obamacare, and I would heartily recommend to Speaker Ryan that the House do the same." Obamacare was kept by both houses.

That night he heard the sound of a text on his phone and when he checked, former President Obama said, "Now we're even. Any more of your crap and I'll tell Elaine."

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Political Satire: Trump and Putin start World War III on Twitter

It was 2 AM at the White house but the new U.S. sovereign was still awake with smart phone in hand tuned to Twitter. Melania had finally decided to move to the Lincoln bedroom to get some sleep. But Donald Trump had decided to challenge Vladimir Putin to a game of 'World Leader Psychopaths,' where you challenge each other to see who can be the biggest nutcase leading a country. The two had been playing this for years and Putin agreed that if Donald John ever won a game (he hadn't)) he could build as many luxury hotels in Moscow as he wanted. 

It was 10 AM in Russia's capital city and Vlad was busy in his office admiring the Putin coffee mug he was drinking from as his smartphone rang on Twitter. "Hello Big D," it was obvious who it was. "How's it hangin'?" He often wondered how Donald John had time to stay on Twitter all night when he had such a gorgeous wife.

"Okay, Vlad, it's time for our regular game of World Leader Psychopaths and tonight I'm going to beat your ass."

"First of all, it's not night here, and second, I'm tired of playing games with you."

"What the hell do you mean? This is a tradition and we have to play. Nobody else here will play games with me."

"I'm bored with the game and since you've lost every time so far, it's pretty obvious you are the world's leading psychopathic leader."

"What the hell, you're calling me a psychopath?"

"Why not, that's what all of your countrymen call you."

And then the Twitter line went silent and stayed that way for several minutes. All of a sudden Vlad cried out, "Holy shit," and went racing down the hall of the Kremlin with the phone in his hand, still on Twitter. As he entered the special security room and headed for the launch console, he heard an alert from Twitter.

"Too late, Vlad, I already hit the button."

Political Satire: Legal Godfather gives his blessings

Jeff Sessions

Jeff Sessions had just been confirmed as Attorney General of the United States under the new American Sultan Donald Trump. He was about to take his place at the conference table in his new office at Justice. But first he went to the medicine cabinet in his private bathroom and took out two cotton balls and stuffed one in each side of his mouth. Then he went back to the conference table where several of his new deputies were assembled. Sessions sat down and said, "We'll make those Muslims an offer they can't refuse." Everyone raised their hands in triumph and waited for the next great utterance. That is, all but one.

It was a black woman left over from the Obama administration. She was in Alabama when the Ku Klux Klan slit the throat of a black man and hung him from a tree. She questioned Sessions about how he felt about this. Sessions said, 'I thought the KKK was OK until I found out they smoked pot.' Soon after he became attorney general of Alabama. But now the other deputies were crowded around the new AG, kissing his hand and sucking up hoping to become his consigliere.

The black woman, still in her chair, asked Sessions one more question, "Doesn't what the KKK did bother you?"

To which the great new legal head replied, "Forgive. Forget. Life is full of misfortunes." With that he stood up, took the two cotton balls from his mouth, and threw them on the table for his deputy minions to fight over.

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Political Satire: a bullet in the head means a gun in the air

Arizona, the state of no gun laws, where all it takes to buy a firearm is a warm body, decided it wanted more non-protection than nothing. State Rep., Bubba Tony Rivero, told the House Judiciary and Public Safety Committee, "Accidents are an unfortunate fact of life." Referring to the death of

Wayne LaPierre

Shannon Smith, fourteen years old, shot in the head by a gun nut who fired his or her weapon in the air half a mile away. Tough luck, kid. Shit happens in a state where guns are valued over the life of children. And your grieving parents should know that and support my new bill, says Rivero, to let killers like the one that killed your daughter go free by simply saying, 'It was an accident." That's if they are even caught.

Rivero, satisfied now that his new law, once in place, would protect his gun hugger friends and hopefully not kill more than a couple hundred kids, strode to his car in the parking lot. As he got behind the wheel, his cell phone rang and it was Wayne LaPierre, head of the National Rifle Assn. "Hey Tony, good job. My big gun guys like it when we dismantle the gun laws. But, I have another assignment for you. We need a law protecting gun loving husbands in Arizona who shoot their wives or girlfriends. You know, more of that accident stuff. Keep me posted."

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Political Satire: The adventures of Debbie Wasserman Schultz

Debbie Wasserman Schultz was sitting in her Sunrise, Florida, office thinking about how she could revive her political career by switching to the Republican Party and becoming Donald Trump's Secretary of Holocaust Education. At least it would be a Cabinet post after she was deprived of her DNC chair. That brought back memories of how she had led her staff through the arduous task of disparaging Bernie Sanders with emails and word of mouth so Hillary Clinton would win the Primary. She did but was beaten by Donald Trump in the 2016 Election. Then she got caught.

Wasserman Schultz couldn't understand why the Democrats were so pissed. During her tenure as the DNC Chairman, they had lost only 10.2% of the Senate, 19.3% of the House, 20.3% of State Legislatures and 35.7% of Governors' offices. But, it might've been worse. Hell, Joni Ernst could have been elected President. Hey, if I had switched Parties, she might have chosen me for Vice President, she thought. And then looking at a mirror she took from her purse, she said to herself, 'Maybe it's my hair.' Then the phone rang and she had to pick it up since everyone else was gone.

"Hello"

On the other end, "I want my campaign data back."

To which she replied, "C'mon, Bernie, you know I can't do that. Besides, Hillary still has it...whoops!"

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Political Satire: Political scientists make startling discovery

Forerunner to Donald Trump

The earliest known politician has now been acknowledged to have had a gigantic cavity used for eating and excreting. Through all the years, and with all the evolution of the art of politics, this creature's huge opening began to spew a regular progression of invectives designed to out-dumb its opponent and win the competition at hand. The typical politician was born. Political scientists studied this critter for years, trying to attach their findings to a living human being. And then came the election of 2016, and Donald John Trump was elected President of the United States. The amoeba will never be the same.

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Political Satire: Charles Koch sneaks into White House and...

The Koch brothers laughing at us poor 99% schmucks

Charles Koch of the lurid team of Donald and Charles Koch refused to endorse Donald Trump for the 2016 election, instead, using the dark money underground to funnel money into the Republican presidency. It worked, but when the Kochs expected the admiration of the newly elected U.S. overlord, its majesty snubbed them simply because they had announced publicly earlier they didn't particularly cotton to Donald John.

So old Charley of the Koch pipeline that exploded and burned two teenagers alive, decided to sneak in to the White House one evening and mess up Donald John's hair. He could do that because of the $400 million he has committed for election 2018. But once inside, Bill Clinton, who had a secret door to a hidden room, popped out and tackled Charlie, thinking he was Trump. Melania rushed from the Lincoln bedroom to thank Bill with hugs and kisses in her Frederick's of Hollywood crotchless nightie. Donald John looked on from the door of the WH master bedroom and commented, “Hey, Bill, when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything,” which immediately brought back memories of his Oval Office.

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Political Satire: World airports shut down-Economy plummets

The Dow Jones average lost 18,800 points today, closing at only 64. The German, Chinese and Japanese exchanges also dived precipitously. All of them blame this on the fact that Donald Trump has done them the honor of shutting down airports around the world by temporarily banning entry into the United States for citizens of seven Muslim-majority countries and refugees from around the world. It is unclear why only these seven countries when Turkey clearly has had terrorist incidents directed against the U.S. Oh, hell, forgot, Donald John has hotel interests there. When questioned about this move, the newly elected czar blamed it on Hillary Clinton's foundation and Bill's recent trip to Little Rock, Arkansas.

Political Satire:Trump revives modified "The Apprentice"

We now have a clone to Donald Trump's "The Apprentice" show with a new cast of characters...government employees. The candidates are selected based on their refusal to agree with the newly elected emperor. The first victim is acting Attorney General, Sally Yates. She dared to question the legality of Donald John's closing of the nation's borders to refugees  and people from predominantly Muslim countries. A federal judge has already blocked the order last week. Other government workers are standing in line to receive this same honor.

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Donald Trump, new U.S. monarch, being sued...again

Donald John is being sued over his immigration order by the Committee on American-Islamic Relations in a Virginia federal court on Monday. Suppose to be the biggest one yet, but that doesn't bother America's newly anointed potentate. He's working on a new reality show for TV for when he leaves the White House. It's called, 'How to Sue a Billionaire...on Twitter.'

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Steve Bannon will only add to more chaos

The new Bobbsey twins

The lack of decision-making skills on the part of Donald John is almost as laughable as his lack of knowledge about what he is doing as the new President of the United States. The Chicago Tribune said during the 2016 campaign, "It is almost impossible to underestimate his knowledge about issues, including the ones he talks most about in his campaign." It has gotten no better, only worse. So what does the new inept President do? He selects a Cabinet that knows almost as little as he does.  But the height of his stupid decision-making process is his choice of Steve Bannon, who appears to be against everything but himself. What's worse, "... the president decided to give a permanent seat at the National Security Council table to his chief strategist and senior counselor, Stephen Bannon."

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Trump lack of judgment frightening

A man without a plan, only bullshit

In his first week in office, Donald John has shown no organizational skills in the government-wide decision-making process. That, in itself, is scary enough, but this assessment is even more alarming.

"...since the election, there is reason to believe that his White House is going to be a place of unusual uncertainty, perhaps even chaos, as a president who has no idea what he is doing is served by people who have no idea what their boss wants."

Donald John has elected to almost ignore the "Presidential Daily Brief, the intelligence report the president gets every day to apprise him of threats to the United States." Such a comforting thought, this maniac sitting in the Oval Office quietly planning his next business move while missiles fly from God knows what country. Read more...

Trump favors his business interests in travel ban

Psst, can I get in on the deal?

He might call it coincidence but I call it strategic planning for Donald John's investments in Turkey. The country was left out of the travel bans even after it has "...faced several terrorist attacks in recent months. On Wednesday, the State Department updated a travel warning for Americans visiting Turkey." And why would he exclude Turkey? Because of the two luxury towers he has licensed his name to in Istanbul, plus the fact a Turkish company "...manufactures a line of Trump-branded home furnishings."

Con artist of the century strikes again. Read more...

Canada shows up Trump's lack of compassion

Canada PM Justin Trudeau

Canada's Trudeau has just announced that his country will welcome rejected U.S. refugees. Since more than 75% of Canada's exports go to the U.S., Trudeau doesn't want to upset Donald John, but he is making it clear that his country will not take the bigoted attitude as his neighbors to the south.

"Trudeau tweeted Saturday 'To those fleeing persecution, terror & war, Canadians will welcome you, regardless of your faith. Diversity is our strength #WelcomeToCanada.'”

If you want an hour-by-hour illustration of how Donald John has screwed up the transportation industry, go here.

And this is just one country. 

Donald Trump destroys Brits confidence in U.S.

Just prior to Prime Minister Theresa May's trip to meet Donald John in the White House, British lawmakers accused the PM of "groveling" before the U.S. President. It's all a part of the people of Great Britain rethinking their affections for Americans. As an example:

A Pew Research Center poll from early 2016 found that 85 percent of Britons had no confidence in Trump doing the right thing in global relations, while 12 percent said they had confidence.

A Gallup International poll conducted in September found that if British citizens could vote in the U.S. election, 64 percent would have chosen Trump's rival, Hillary Clinton. 15 percent said they would have voted for Trump.

Another poll conducted for the Independent, this time by BMG Research, shortly after the election, 58 percent of Britons said that America's global reputation would suffer after Trump's win.

 There's more and you shouldn't miss it at The Washington Post.

Can America afford Donald Trump's ego

Contrary to belief, Sigmund Freud did not employ the use of the term ego (a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance) or id (the part of the mind in which innate instinctive impulses and primary processes are manifest). He had other references, unimportant to this post. They both seem to date back to the time of Nietzsche but the reason for bringing any of this up is to point out the fact that Donald John's ego is completely out of control and his id is that of a lunatic. Just take a look at the following from Ashley Parker of the Washington Post:

"Even with British Prime Minister Theresa May standing at the lectern just to his right Friday, the new president used his first joint news conference with a world leader to underscore that while his campaign message may have been 'America first,' his actual guiding philosophy is more 'Trump first.'”

When was the last ego maniac to run this country? 

Donald Trump's war with truthful media

They say truth hurts but in Donald John's case it is a wound that is festering to the extent that he can't attend to the business of this country...the reason for which he was apparently elected. The comparison of his much smaller Inauguration crowd size compared to Barack Obama's in 2009 is just the latest. It's all staged by Steve Bannon who, along with Kellyanne Conway, have now given us "alternative facts." But the media just isn't buying it.

Obama: Tied for 1st place in role of modern presidents

President Barack Obama is in a tie with former President Ronald Reagan now but will eventually surpass him in the role of greatest American Presidents. Obama has surged in the past few years, as Reagan has lost five points. This compared to Obama's nemesis, Mitch McConnell, who has been voted most unpopular U.S. Senator, plainly illustrating the lack of class in the latter. 

Palin exit way too overdue

If only to get rid of that screeching voice, her departure is a blessing. But there's more. Imagine her PAC donors are pissed that only 12% of contributions went to party candidates, the express purpose of the PAC. In the 2016 election cycle, Palin's Sarah PAC spent $830,000 on consultants and just $82,500 in donations to other candidates. Also, the PAC spent $168,000 on travel and lodging expenses during the 2016 election — double what it donated to candidates. Palin's self-aggrandizement at its best.

Thanks to Thanks to Chris Cillizza of the Washington Post.

We all knew Donald John was clueless with the maturity of a child

Leaks from the White House...

"Time and again, the image of Trump pushed by his “aides” is one of a clueless child — someone who acts on impulse, disregarding the better advice of people who know better. We know he needs to be managed or else he will say and do stupid things, the message seems to be. We're working on it."

Thanks to Chris Cillizza of the Washington Post. 

Donald John has flipped his lid

The new emotionally unstable President personally ordered acting National Park Service director Michael T. Reynolds to produce pics of the 2017 Inauguration day crowd to help this troubled child to prove his was bigger than former President Obama's. It still wasn't. Can't you just imagine right now Obama and Michelle, plus the kids too, howling over the antics of this lunatic?

Guns, guns and more guns

Two teenagers' plans for a gun massacre at a Florida school thwarted by student whistle-blowers that probably saved many lives. Yes, they each had a house full of firearms, including an AR-15 assault rifle. Considering current White House and Congress, we can expect much more of this, the next time with deaths.