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Monday, September 24, 2012

Gun control advocates take over NRA…Oust Wayne LaPierre

A PARODY

Dateline-May 6, 2013-Houston: It was just last week and the National Rifle Assn. (NRA) was holding its annual convention at the George R. Brown convention Center in the heart of downtown Houston.  The exhibit hall was huge, some 400,000 feet, equipped to handle 500 exhibitors.  Families of gun worshippers gathered to hear the omnipotent Wayne LaPierre reassure them that gun control advocates would not take away their precious guns.


Wackier than even Wayne LaPierre

LaPierre is known for coddling this gang of gun nuts to make sure they continue to send their money that will keep his maniacal crusade flourishing while more than adequately filling his pockets and those of his top henchmen.  It’s a no lose situation with these poor souls.  But their financial support is trivial compared to the real money that comes from the gun manufacturers where clearly LaPierre has placed his nose and support up entirely within their backside.

Back at the convention, children marvel at the weaponry, especially the selection of assault rifles, reminded that their parents had promised them one when they are old enough.  Moms look over an array of holsters for females to select the one that best fits their personality.  Dads search for the most masculine looking Glock that will help them confirm their manliness.  They are all here, ready to heap praise on the great one who has fulfilled their loosest gun dreams.


NRA kid who doesn't like
gun control advocates

But there is another group present that has a different purpose than the NRA’s fanatical gun rights.  They are the gun control advocates who came to this firearms fiasco to dump CEO Wayne LaPierre and shut down its absurd advocacy for guns for everyone to take anywhere they want.  These are reasonable people, some of which own guns, many who are NRA members, but realize they should only be meant for protection in the home.

These are law abiding citizens who aren’t afraid of background checks, even the registration of their weapons.  They are also a part of the budding majority that believes assault rifles were meant for killing and have no place in the typical American home.  They believe in the 2nd Amendment but also realize its limitations.  The Founding Fathers did not intend for it to open the door to an NRA style culture with zero restraint.

It was almost a year ago in 2012 that the call went out through gun control advocates to enlist those with this philosophy to join the NRA, while identifying members within the organization that were approving of sensible gun control.  They responded in droves with 3 million new applicants signing up and 750,000 NRA member sympathizers joining the group.  That meant out of the total membership now of 7,300,000, 3,750,000 were anti Wayne LaPierre.

Finally, there was a majority in the most powerful lobby in the country; but could they throw the bums at the top out?  With determination the gun controllers set about to infiltrate the meetings, espousing their views on sensible gun control.  They were met with even more supporters from the ranks coming over to their side, but were also confronted by the typical bubba gun nuts, along with their wives and kids, that called them everything from anarchist to communist.

Glenn Beck - Wackier than
Charlton Heston
Soon the fireworks began to go off in the upper echelons when LaPierre and his minions caught wind of the movement.  They had known all along that something was going on but reacted with the same arrogance that nothing could stop the great LaPierre and his wrecking ball.  But this time was different.  The American public, although leery of blanket gun control, was weary of the daily gun homicides that were going on across the U.S.  The time had come.

Momentum grew for the gun controllers when a confrontation ensued.  But then saner minds prevailed by warning the crowd that everything they were doing was being taped for the evening news.  At this point the gun controllers forced a vote, first to elect a new President of the NRA who was one of them.  Next, a vote was taken to dethrone Wayne LaPierre, which passed by a large plurality, and to form a committee to find a new Executive Vice President and CEO to replace him.

It was done and the gun controllers had done it.  When they went searching for LaPierre to officially strip him of his titles and position he was nowhere to be found.  One security guard said that he saw him and several other men exiting through a basement door that led to the parking lot where they expected to find their limousines.  They weren’t there.  The gun controllers had made sure of that.  LaPierre was later seen walking around the parking lot begging for a ride.

The 2013 NRA Annual Meeting closed early.

Oh, only if…

15 comments:

  1. Clean yourself up. The wet dream is over. lol

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  2. I just don't get you gun control guys... I just read over the second amendment, and it appears that we have a right to not only keep, but to bear arms as well, AND, that a MILITIA is essential to a free state! This speaks of gun rights as something to guard against government tyranny, no? And what of the Swiss?

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    1. I just don't get you gun rights guys. The Founding Fathers did not mean to open the market to guns for everyone to carry anywhere they want to. One of these days I am going to do a parody on the FFs and the 2nd Amendment. Thanks for the idea.

      Jack E. Dunning
      Nasty Jack Blog

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  3. I knew this was too good to be true.

    Anyway, I am pretty sure the NRA has mechanisms which prevent this sort of take over from happening again.

    It has already been taken over by fanatics, they can't have it return to being a sportsman's organisation.

    That might destroy the "gun rights" movement.

    Besides, have you ever heard a dumber concept than a "right" to own a deadly weapon?

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    1. No Laci, I haven't. Great comment!

      Jack E. Dunning
      Nasty Jack Blog

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  4. It ticks me off that Google News somehow puts this drivel in with real commentary about Second Amendment rights and gun control.

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    Replies
    1. Poor baby. But I kind of like it.

      Jack E. Dunning
      Nasty Jack Blog

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  5. Thanks for the great post, Jack, it was really informative and amusing!

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    1. Does this mean the other bearded one agrees?

      Jack E. Dunning
      Nasty Jack Blog

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  6. I beleive michael moore tried this back in the late 90's, not realizing that the board of directors and electoral body chooses leaders. But honestly, you really must have a hard on for Lapierre and "gun worshippers" because every other one of your posts is dedicated to them. As a gun owner i would be more than willing to submit to reasonable regulation so long as my government's police and military forces had to submit to the same regulation. If i cant possess automatic weaponry then i dont want powerful military And police institutions with very little oversight and near limitless power to have them.

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    1. Thanks for the heads up, and I sort of sensed that was the case but it is a parody. By the way, you sounded like a reasonable gun owner but you completely lost me with your assault weapon comment. They should be banned for individual gun owners immediately.

      Jack E. Dunning
      Nasty Jack Blog

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    2. You glided past the issue as usual. You dont want citizens to have weaponry yet you make no mention of police and military forces possessing them. You have never made mention of how arms in the hands of the government is just as dangerous, if not more because the government cant be held liable for "murder". Only citizens can. So let me pose this question: are you, a progressive, really in support of leaving the citizenry defenseless against an armed and militarized government? I fear my government a hell of a lot more than i fear criminals, my fellow citizens.

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    3. I glide past comments like this because I have heard them hundreds of time, answering most a hundred times already. And if you think arms in the hands of our government to protect this country is dangerous then you are either dangerously paranoid or in desperate need of professional counseling. Your statement that you fear your government more than criminals is ludicrous and borders on lunacy. This is the kind of comment the Secret Service is looking for.

      Jack E. Dunning
      Nasty Jack Blog

      Delete
    4. Ha!!! Go ahead and turn me in then! It seems like every time I read the newspaper i see a story about people being raped, brutalized, or killed by police officers or military personell without any real consequence. And if that does not bother you then what about the "drug raids" on homes suspected of having marijuanna where a heavily armed SWAT team breaks down the door, shoots the family animals and sometimes the occupants. The story of the SWAT officers in Fulton Missouri who raided a home suspected of having drugs comes to mind. The cops shot the dogs, who were restrained by the way, and went ahead and maced the dog's puppies. But of course they did get their bust. Enough marijuanna to file misdemeanor. You seem to have a mistrust of your fellow citizen yet have complete trust in your government. The government is made up of people, people who abuse power because it is human nature. There is nothing being done about this problem and people like you are complacent in the process.

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    5. You are right about two things. I trust my government and I don't trust people like you with guns!

      Jack E. Dunning
      Nasty Jack Blog

      Delete

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